


Cheesy and Cheap

by Its_Just_Chemistry



Series: The Rhodey & Tony Stack [16]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Iron Husbands, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-05
Updated: 2016-08-05
Packaged: 2018-07-29 13:15:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,051
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7685932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Its_Just_Chemistry/pseuds/Its_Just_Chemistry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rhodey's sleeping schedule keeps getting interrupted by cheesy pickup lines from a certain playboy philanthropist.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cheesy and Cheap

**Author's Note:**

> Rated Teen for the more awkward pickup lines.
> 
> Pickup lines belong to whoever made them up because I have no idea who these belong to.
> 
> An AU where the two are in a relationship (though not thoroughly mentioned). Characterization is probably off. This fic is more texts than anything else but I didn't want to just write the texts so hey, why not add some sort of scenario happening outside the digital texts. I know it's not the best (I guess that's why it's called cheesy and cheap, I'm sorry) but I will come back with better ones.
> 
> Hope you enjoy :)

Rhodey groaned as he let himself fall onto the mattress of his bed. Today had been a long day filled with important discussions and no lunch. What a wonderful way to spend an entire day.

Rhodey turned to the clock. It was eleven pm, he probably wouldn't get much sleep that night.

Rhodes sighed as he turned the lamp on his nightstand off, letting himself rest on the mattress in peace, his cheek buried into the pillow. Best to savor the feeling while he could, try and get some sleep while he was at it...

 

***Whoop***

 

Rhodes groaned with confusion as he opened an eye to look at his phone. He then turned his attention to the clock. It was four past two in the morning. Now who on Earth would be texting him this late at night? Or would it be early in the day...Rhodey never really did know which option was actually right.

Rhodes sat upright on his bed, letting out a yawn as he rubbed his eye with the palm of his hand, his other reaching out to grab his phone.

It was Tony.

And he'd left him a text.

 

 **Tony Stark -** **2:04 am**

**Good morning!**

 

 **Rhodey Rhodes -** **2:05 am**

**Go to bed Tony**

 

 **Tony Stark -** **2:05 am**

**Wow, you're being mean today :P y u so mad?**

 

Rhodes couldn't help but chuckle. 'Text lingo' wasn't really his thing, and so whenever Tony used it always made him crack a smile.

 

 **Rhodey Rhodes -** **2:05 am**

**Work**

 

 **Tony Stark -** **2:05 am**

**Ah work, America's least favorite pass time**

 

Rhodes let out a snicker.

 

 **Rhodey Rhodes -** **2:06 am**

**You've got that right**

 

Rhodey continued to type

  

 **Rhodey Rhodes -** **2:06 am**

**So, as you can see I'm not really in the mood. Maybe some other time Tony**

 

Rhodes waited patiently for a response, but when it seemed that none would come he just placed his phone back on his nightstand and went to sleep. Tony was just so weird sometimes, but Rhodey guessed that that was just another reason he liked him. He'd probably go visit him after work, maybe bring coffee or something. He'd think more about it once he'd wake up.

 

***Whoop***

 

Rhodey blinked his eyes open as he woke up. It was now twelve past four. Rhodes stretched his arms out to his side and yawned once again as he gingerly picked up his phone. "What now Tony...?" He mumbled, though it was more of a statement than a question.

Rhodes opened up his phone to see what Tony had texted him, only to find his eyes widening a moment later.

 

**Tony Stark - 4:12 am**

**Was your Dad in the Air Force? Because you’re da bomb.**

 

Rhodey blinked several times as he read the text over again. Was that a...a pickup line? Why was Tony sending him pickup lines? And, more importantly, why was he sending cheesy ones?

 

**Rhodey Rhodes - 4:13 am**

**Excuse me?**

 

**Tony Stark - 4:13 am**

**Stop, drop, and roll, baby. You are on fire.**

 

Rhodey had to stop himself from letting out a laugh. These pickup lines were just so...bad. It was hysterical, and Rhodey was loving it.

 

**Tony Stark - 4:14 am**

**Ouch! My tooth hurts!**

...well that was unexpected

 

**Rhodey Rhodes - 4:14 am**

**Are you ok?**

 

Rhodey waited for a response to come, he was now somewhat concerned. However his concern instantly disappeared as a response finally came.

 

**Tony Stark - 4:15 am**

**-_-**

 

**Tony Stark - 4:15 am**

**Youre supposed to ask "why" Rhodes**

 

Rhodey blinked in confusion at the sudden text. What did he mean 'ask why'? What difference would it make if Rhodey asked 'are you ok' or 'why'-

Rhodey paused as realization hit him.

Tony was sending him another pickup line and Rhodey had just ruined it.

However, instead of feeling bad for ruining Tony's little joke Rhodey laughed at his own mistake. If Tony were in the same room as him, he'd probably be pouting right about then. However, knowing Tony, Rhodey was sure that he was already doing just that, considering Tony would've guessed Rhodey would've been laughing at the situation.

 

**Rhodey Rhodes - 4:15 am**

**XD Sorry**

 

**Rhodey Rhodes - 4:15 am**

**Why?**

 

**Tony Stark - 4:15 am**

**(That's better) Because you are soooo sweet!**

 

Rhodey let out a chuckle at the text. God these pickup lines were cheesy.

 

**Tony Stark - 4:16 am**

**My love for you is like dividing by zero– it cannot be defined.**

 

Rhodey blushed a little at that one, it was actually pretty sweet. He'd probably hold onto that one.

 

**Tony Stark - 4:16 am**

**It’s not my fault that I fell for you, you tripped me!**

 

And and that one too.

 

**Tony Stark - 4:16 am**

**Is your name “swiffer”? ‘Cause you just swept me off my feet.**

 

And that one.

 

**Tony Stark - 4:16 am**

**I’m not drunk, I’m just intoxicated by you.**

 

And and that one would be something Tony might actually say to him in person.

 

**Tony Stark - 4:17 am**

**I'm a good kisser. Got room for one more tongue in there?**

 

And that one-

wait what?

 

**Tony Stark - 4:17 am**

**Did you lose your virginity? If you want, you can take mine~**

 

These pickup lines were starting to escalate real fast

 

**Tony Stark - 4:17 am**

**I wish you were like my blanket, then I could wake up to you wrapped around me in the morning**

 

That one was actually pretty sweet.

 

**Rhodey Rhodes - 4:17 am**

**I think that's enough pickup lines for one night. I'll see you tomorrow Tones**

 

**Tony Stark - 4:17 am**

**Aw...you're no fun**

 

Rhodey let out a quiet laugh.

 

**Rhodey Rhodes - 4:18 am**

**'Night Tones**

 

**Tony Stark - 4:18 am**

**Good night Platypus**

 

Rhodey smiled as he gently placed his phone back on his nightstand. He'd need to try and sleep for as long as he could, though it wasn't like he'd get much time anyways, but it wasn't like Rhodey cared. Sleep was sleep, and that was all that mattered.

 

Rhodey walked into Tony's workshop with a slight hue on his face, coughing to get the other's attention.

"Uh...m-my doctor said I'm lacking vitamin U."

Tony couldn't help but laugh.


End file.
